Friday, February 29, 2008
Second Admissions Letter
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Not Chosen for All-USA Team
Below is a copy of the letter sent to me via email:
Dear Kristi,
Thank you for participating in the 2008 All-USA Academic Team competition. Your commitment to academic excellence and community service that earned you this nomination is commendable. Unfortunately, due to the limited number of positions on the All-USA Academic Team, your nomination was not selected. Nearly 1,600 nominations were received this year, each of which represented the top 99th percentile of their sponsoring two-year institution. For your participation in the 2008 All-USA Academic Team competition, we are pleased to present you with a certificate of recognition. This certificate will be mailed directly to your college president for his or her signature in April. We appreciate you and your college submitting a nomination for the 2008 All-USA Academic Team. Through your participation, you have become part of the movement to showcase the outstanding students enrolled in our two-year colleges. We wish you the very best with your future academic endeavors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scholarship Programs Department
Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society
1625 Eastover Drive
Jackson, MS 39211
U of A Acceptance Letter
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Identification Badges
We were each given an ID badge to be worn during the banquet. My ID badge has attached a blue ribbon stating that I am on the "Second Team". All of the candidates in Arizona were divided into three groups, First Team, Second Team, and Third Team. First Team received an extra $1000, Second Team an extra $750, and Third Team $500 from their community college. My additional money should hopefully pay for 1-2 semesters of books!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The East Valley Tribune
Newspaper Insert
Souvenir
Awards Banquet
Since there are so many of them, I am going to label each one separately so that you know what is what.
We had a good time and had a good meal and my tuition is now officially free, so life is good!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
First Publication
I had no idea that I had made it to the second team and what that means I also still don't know. I have heard that it may involve more money and a medal.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Another Invitation...Aren't I Popular?
Scholarship Invitation
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Consumer Letter
CAUTION: Strong Language
Redistributed without permission, no infringement intended!
PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.
She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts.
But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on
being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi
pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual
period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few
minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my
husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the
human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,
crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough
time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the
violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill
just be cause he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken
chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful
I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
'Have a Happy Period.' Are you fu**ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any
part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual
smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did
anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it,
James?FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never
be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march
down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan
to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something
that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular
Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull
sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always!.
Best wishes,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX